Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Randomize
