pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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