I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
