Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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