Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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