with your own penis?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
