he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
