He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
