I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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