Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
