So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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