1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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