I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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