So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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