Your face is a jimmy john
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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