He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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