i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
ttyl tear gas
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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