are you still at the devil's house?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
