So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
