There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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