brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
