I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
