He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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