the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize