Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
why is half of my head shaved?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
