He kissed a someone with a penis
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
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