4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
