i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
