it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
