I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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