just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize