i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I deserve this hangover.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
