sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
