Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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