Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The feeling are messing with the penis
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
