And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
