I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
