He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You pole danced in your parka.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
