If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
