and you said cock pushups were impossible
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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