Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
