I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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