your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i wish my penis had a tongue
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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