Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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