Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
