I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize