wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
