god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
