Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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