I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
