On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
