I hate your face
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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