Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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