I cockslap morals
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
