just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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