There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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