You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize