you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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