He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
