I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
